A new game
Published by Mike Stark December 7th, 2006 in UncategorizedIf you’re like me, you’ve got a wingnut friend or two that persists in trying to “convert you” by sending you foolish spam emails and chain letters. Sometimes the emails aren’t so bad - I got one from a devout Christain friend the other day that spoke of respect for the troops during the holidays. Jingoistic? Sure… But it was touching, nonetheless.
On the other hand, all too frequently I get mails like this one:
Proud To Be White
Someone finally said it.
How many are actually paying attention to this?
There are African Americans, Mexican Americans,
Asian Americans, Arab Americans, Native Americans, etc.
And then there are just Americans.You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction.
You Call me “White boy,” “Cracker,” “Honkey,”
“Whitey,” .. and that’s OK.But when I call you, Nigger, Kike, Towel head,
Sand-nigger, camel Jockey,
you call me a racist.You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you,
so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?You have the United Negro College Fund. You have Martin Luther King
Day. You have Black History Month. You have Cesar Chavez Day. You
have the NAACP. and you have BET.If we had WET (White Entertainment Television) ..we’d be recists.
If we had a White Pride Day .. you would call us racists.
If we had White History Month .. we’d be racists.
If we had any organization for only whites to “advance” OUR lives ..
we’d be racists.We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of
Commerce, and then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce.
Wonder who pays for that?If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships
… you know we’d be racists. There are over 60 openly proclaimed
Black Colleges in the US , yet if there were “White colleges” .
THAT would be a racist college.In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching
for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights,
you would call us racists.You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you’re
not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride ..
you call us racists.You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer
shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running
from the law and posing a threat to society .. you call him a racist.I am proud.
But, you call me a racist.Why is it that only whites can be racists?
There is nothing improper about this e-mail.
Let’s see which of you are proud enough to send it on
I decided that instead of ignoring this trash, I’d try a new tactic.
In the email, there was a long list of previous recipients. I replied to Mark and copied all previous recipients.
This was my effort:
boo hoo hoo… my life as a white man is so hard… I think I’ll listen to talk radio all day and complain about how the black man is keepin’ me down…. and then I’ll go golf, just to get away from dem black folk…
Hey! How come Del ain’t on this list?
man, you can have your white pride, but I had higher hopes for this generation. I sure hope you aren’t raising your kids this way - in a way that makes it sound like you’re ok with the KKK and other white pride organizations…
and you do celerebrate your whiteness… ever heard of Saint Patrick’s Day? St. Valentine’s Day? St. Nicholas Day? Santa ain’t ever been black, as far as I know… Polish community center, Italian community center…
Hey! I’ve got an idea! You should start the ignorant white people community center! You can listen to Vanilla Ice and watch the Andy Griffith Show and when the women-folk aren’t around, you can give each other wedgies!! Oh boy! What fun!! Maybe you can even start a white boy basketball league where all the hoops are 4 feet high….
C’mon Mark, we all know the reason you’re insecure about black folk… It’s no secret that most Farrels are a little short in the “wee-willie” department… The thought of those big black men with their big, giant, engorged… muscles… Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to excite you…
Listen - I know it’s not the best work in the world, but it was the best I could do in the ten minutes I had. What I’m thinking - my new idea - is this: I know some of you here are particularly devastating flamers of wingnuts. I’m thinking that from time to time, I’ll post these mails (for as long as idiots send them to me), wait on you folks to respond in the comments, and then respond to the emails with the best of the comments.
Sound like fun? Have at it!
34 Responses to “A new game”
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Mike, My response would have been a lot shorter.
Mark,
I’m proud as well, but not just because I happen to be “white”. I’m proud to belong to a diverse human family where petty differences like skin color don’t matter.
Stay Black,
Andy
C’mon. Let’s stop pretending. I want all the people who have NEVER asked at least a few of Mark’s points to stand up and be counted, because you are lying. I have often questioned the legitimacy of Black Pride Month, or the Latin Grammy’s or the Black movie awards etc etc, just like the Gay Flag (is there a Straight Flag?) Blacks should quit using the “N” word if they want everyone else to too. Anyone watched Rock lately?, he is “Crackering” this and “Crackering” that all the time. The hypocracy is blatent and pathetic.
400 years Stevo… 400 years…
I Echo 400 years Stevo…..400 years. I for one wish we could be referred to as Americans. That is what everybody else does. People from England are called the English, from France..the French, etc.. Are you aware that Americans are the only ones I’ve heard categories their races. How can you have harmony when everyone has a label before their nationality.
And the last time i checked, the Indians were the only ones born their. Everyone one else is an immigrant. I’m not hitting anyone in particular, but the N-word, or the K-word, or any other word that demeans any race of people should not be used by anyone ‘ You heard me rappers, comic, etc..’.
That’s my 2 cents. keep it or spend it.
I wonder if Senator Allen would have an official comment before he has to pack up his noose and confederate flag and take it home with him?
Mike,
Your talents are very evident. Think about putting law school off until after 2008 elections. You may be able to make a boatload of money through projects like this.
reminds me of the michael richards explosion…
but why don’t people that chris rock calls “crackers” and “honkeys” in his shows demand apologies and sue for money?
what’s the difference?
It should either be ok or not ok. I personally think it’s not ok to make racial slurs towards people.
But if one person can get away with it, and another person can’t… that’s bullshit.
Now that Mike’s 15 Minutes are up, he should take this site down and spare us these recently lame threads. Where’s the audio buddy? When can we expect a rematch with that elderly guy that kicked your ass? hahahahah..
the funniest part of the email was the notation regarding the amount of black universities. all which were started because african americans couldnt get into white (yes i said it) white universities
how many blacks who aint on the football or basketball teams, go to byu
this is 2006, soon to be 2007….i wish this country could get past the color of ones skin…i really do….for if it did, Barak Obama would be our next pres…and joy would reign throughout the land
gee Glen, who’s the bigger loser: Mike, whose candidate won the election and dashed Senator Macacawitz’s Presidential hopes, or you, who despite hating Mike and everyone else to the left of Genghis Khan, take time from your serious and important conservative work to come over here and post meaningless taunts.
Methinks Glen doth need a life.
Mike, when I read this tripe, all I could think is that it really said:
Proud To Be an Asshole
There…someone finally said it.
How many are actually paying attention to this?
There are African Assholes, Mexican Assholes,
Asian Assholes, Arab Assholes, Native Assholes, etc.
There are even just plain Assholes. But sometimes, there are HUGE assholes…men like Sean Hannity, Rush Limbagh, Bill O’Reilly, and Ann Coulter.
You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction.
You think “ What an Asshole” “Doesn’t that poor creature look Inbread,” “How can someone that Intellectually Challenged survive,” or “My GOD…That must be a Fox News Viewer,” .. and that’s OK.
But when I call you, Nigger, Kike, Towel head,
Sand-nigger, camel Jockey,
you laugh and call me an Asshole.
You say that Assholes commit a lot of violence against you,
so why are trailer parks the most dangerous places to live?
You have the United Negro College Fund. You have Martin Luther King
Day. You have Black History Month. You have Cesar Chavez Day. You
have the NAACP. and you have BET.
If we had AET (Asshole Entertainment Television) ..now, THAT would be “Fair and Balanced”.
If we had a Asshole Pride Day .. you would wave at our parade and laugh hystarically.
If we had Asshole History Month .. it would be called Hannitember.
If we had any organization for only Assholes to “advance” OUR lives ..
We could nickname it that GOP, and use an ELEPHANT for the mascot (They have really HUGE assholes, you know).
We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of
Commerce, and then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce.
Why no Asshole chamber of Commerce? Oh…I forgot…we already have one…it’s called the JayCees.
If we had a college fund that only gave Assholes scholarships
… you know we’d be Bob Jones Alumni.
There are over 60 openly proclaimed
Black Colleges all over the US , why are there no “ Asshole colleges” north of the Mason-Dixon line or west of the Mississippi?
In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching
for your race and rights. If we marched for our Asshole rights,
John Gibson would be the honorary Grand Marshall.
You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you’re
not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our Asshole pride ..
you laugh at us like drunken circus monkeys.
When we are robbed, carjacked and shot at, we do not understand the inequities in our system that lead to dispair so damaging that it creates violence…we only see skin color.. But, when some asshole with a badge and a grudge
shoots a black kid because the color of his skin made him believe he MUST be a gang member or a drug-dealer running
from the law and posing a threat to society .. you call him a murderous ASSHOLE.
I am proud.
But, you tell me what an Asshole I am.
Why is it that only the ill-informed and misled can be Assholes?
There is nothing improper about this e-mail.
Let’s see which of you are proud enough to send it on to your non-Asshole friends to let tham know just how much of an ASSHOLE you REALLY are.
Jeff picked up that ball and went 99 yards for the TD.
I’ve experience so much reverse discrimination it’s Unreal.
I’m also sick of the Politically Correct nonsense. It’s like EVERYTHING you say or think is under examination…
Geeze… why is EVERYTHING under such close observation?
I know. America is now a Fascist Country.
WAKE UP!!!!
Get out that copy of 1984 Orwell. Take a peek at the 14 points of Fascism on google. We are NO LONGER A DEMOCRACY.
What IS Freedom like? I’ve always wondered….
Facistamerica,
Just what is it you have lost out on as a result of this “Reverse racism”? Nothing I’d wager, and that’s the difference.
Black History month because all the others are white history month.
Black Chamber of Commerce because the other is white dominated, etc, etc, etc. Why is this so hard to see?
Why do white people whine about their disadvantage? It’s pathetic.
I don’t mean to be picky, but there’s no such thing as “REVERSE discrimination” It’s either discrimination or it isn’t.
Sorry, but I’ve always hated that.
Glen
You’ve had your 15 seconds. Now, FOAD, you putz.
Racism is different than prejudice! For Racism to exisist the persons must have power to insure it institution and continued practice. The power of, say Ronald Regan in Philadelphia Mississippi using acceptable code terms like “states rights” is far more damaging than the “N” word which can be easily confronted and usually used by people that have been disfranchised from the resources that the society has to offer. ( cheap labor vs Living wage). Sadly these folks don’tsee the bigger picture amd vote against there own self interest. Yes I am white and currently work for an orgasnization where the power structure is primarly black. I know that I have been the victim of folks who want to “give some back”. Looking at the big picture, any injustice that is experenced is minor comparied to the years of suffering that occured before I was born. Do I hope for justice for all folks including my self ? Of course I do. But mindlessly acting out will not serve the greater good of establishing a fair system that is equatable for all. Overall the PREJUDICE that is expressed by minorties with terms that they use is not as damaging as the Prejudice that I might express that echos the RACISM that has been long established and much harder to confront.
Racism can and does exist without power of any kind. Prejudice can be based on Racism or really any other factor some of which are exercised, to some degree, regularly by everyone. The theory that human beings can be divided into categories by skin color and as such can be described as being one way or another is absurd.
But I have refined my email response and ask that Mike send this to his “proud” email buddy:
“The problem here isn’t that there aren’t organizations that are called “white-something-or-other” and that therein there is some sort of double standard. It is, [as Bacci40 mentioned above], that most of these “black” institutions were created because of their exclusion from the already established institutions due to their skin color. Some of which were actually created by “whites” so they could be happy in their own schools, churches, etc.
I think that ultimately, we as a new generation need to raise our children to see humans as equals no matter their outer appearance. This is a problem that is so completely woven into American life that it will take generations to remove. Many are still fighting to drive a wedge into the differences among us in equally obvious ways (think Muslims) and we must also resist these views as counter productive.
So by all means be proud, but be proud of your actions, your dreams and your talents. But remember that being proud because you happen to have been born white is meaningless because that doesn’t tell me a thing about who you really are or what you aspire to be.”
I have white skin, and I am proud. Those two facts are unrelated though.
I have pride, but I am not proud of the paragraphs written above. I say this because I believe that the color of my skin, a result of genetic happenstance, does not define who I am, and the mere fact that my skin is white serves to make me no better or worse than anyone whose skin is tinted darker than mine.
So, what am I proud of? I am proud of MY heritage, and I am proud to say that I do not even remotely share that heritage with anyone like the idiot who penned that hate-filled diatribe above simply because of the common color of our skin.
The heritage that I am proud of begins with my pride in my father, and my pride in the man he was. I am proud of the fathers who lived before my father. I am proud of what they have achieved, and I am proud of what they sacrificed. I am proud to bear their name, and to continue their legacy.
However, as long as there are people who share the color of my skin, yet spew the message of hate contained in the manifesto found at the top of this page, I will NEVER be able to be proud simply because of the color of my skin.
You see, while I am white, they are white and ignorant.
There is a big difference.
My God, if nothing else, what used to be subtle has become latent under our idiot President. And his supporters, that incredibly ignorant 29% or so of Americans, are exactly the kind of people who forward emails like this one.
Ignorance in politics seemed to be closely related to ignorance about race.
What have I lost because of “reverse” discrimination?
Wow. I can tell you’ve NEVER had a blue collar job.
Try the US Army. Try working for a Black Sargeant. See how quickly your life turns to hell.
Try working for a black manager in a retail setting.
Try interviewing with a black Human Resources manager.
You have absolutely no clue.
We’re suppose to always be on our best behavior, but when the tables are turned?
However, as long as there are people who share the color of my skin, yet spew the message of hate contained in the manifesto found at the top of this page, I will NEVER be able to be proud simply because of the color of my skin.
You see, while I am white, they are white and ignorant.
There is a big difference.
Wow!
That is deep!
Maybe you should go to a tanning bed, get bronzed and pass yourself off as Hispanic and not have to admit to being white. The shame of it all!
Dixie dud,
People like you and Facist will never realize it, but the world would be a much better place if you children would just learn to keep quiet and let the adults talk.
Do us all a favor… just pour yourself a nice big cup of “Shut The Fuck Up”, sit back and listen instead of talking so much….you probably won’t absorb any of that “high-falootin book learnin” you seem to fear more than deoderant and toothpaste, but at least it’ll prevent you from sounding like such a flaming asshole in the future.
Just a little advice, son….and by the way…You’re welcome.
As a civil servant I am subjected to all kinds of diversity training, posters, even a screen saver that we MUST use has a message about diversity and really, it doesn’t bother me. But I work with a guy who at the very mention of diversity launches into tirades similar to the email above (complete with ‘Why can’t I start an all white ____’)
claiming that teaching diversity only encourages racism. He is also the guy that when the two of us are talking alone (I am also white) will make some reference to where he lives, shops, etc and then look left, right and quietly say ‘and I shop, live, etc here because there are so view blacks’. Emails like this are nothing but thinly veiled racism worse yet these racists don’t have the balls to come right out and how they feel, it is true, all racists are cowards.
I’ve held several blue collar jobs, but that’s really not a relevant point. Maybe you have difficulty working for blacks because you are a racist? As for you poor white folks always having to be on your best behavior…how do you think it is for minorities in EVERY FACET OF THEIR LIVES!
Funny, my first job in South Carolina I interviewed with a Black Woman (she was head of Human Resources) I don’t recall her discriminating against me, or calling me a cracker or anything weird like that…
Spare us all the false indignation.
Josh,
People who share the “reasoning”, if you can call it that, of idiots like facist and Dixie Dud MUST believe that they lost an employment opportunity because of race. It is a defense mechanism.
You see, In their distorted reality, they see themselves as perfect and without flaws based solely on the fact that their skin is white. To believe they lost a job or opportunity for any reason other than skin color would force them to come to grips with the fact that they are under-educated, lack basic interpersonal skills, and otherwise, are just plain unpleasant people to work or have any other form of public interraction around.
Around my parts, we have a code-word for people who think like that..we like to call them “ass-holes”.
Hey facistamerica,
My first boss was a black man. He was one of the best bosses I have ever had the pleasure of working for. He taught me a lot and treated me with respect. Maybe its because I didnt see him as black, I saw him as my boss.
PS I am white
Awww. Name Calling. The last resort when you can’t back up an arguement.
Our Country has so much bigger problems then the race issue. Did you ever wonder WHY the Government shoves race down out throats? Ever? Ever wonder?
All the Rich Man’s Slaves have got to get along. Doesn’t help business when we fight. That’s why we have the Thought Police. Gotta be nice to those 5 Mexicans sharing a one bedroom apartment. The Rich Man needs his workers.
We’re all Slaves. Just some of us have figured it out. It’s called Fascism. Big Brother.
I’ve had 1 (one) good black boss and he was great. That PROVES your point. No discrimination towards white in America. Nope. Can you spell Sarcasm?
I personally believe all men are created equal and should be judged by their own individual merits. I’ve personally felt the sting of discrimination. But after realizing my Country is a Fascist Police nation…. everything needs to be reexamined.
This is EXACTLY what I am talking about. In Fascist America, if you say ANYTHING negative about a black person or minority, even if it’s true - you are automatically a Racist. That’s called media and state brainwashing.
I’m not brainwashed anymore. I’ll talk about my bad experiences. Call me a racist for saying I’ve been discriminated against. Whatever.
On that note…
Tony Marquez,
Your mesage was so Christmas Story. Really touching. So brainwashed TV Afternoon School Special. Did he hug you goodnight when you left work? Touch your tushy?
Fascist…you are not a racist, son…you are just an ignorant asshole…that’s all.
Fascist….not that there is anything that can be said that will ever change your closed mind, but whatever negative experience caused you to be so bitter, I suggeat you grow up and get over it. I have had MANY bosses of all races, and I have ALWAYS been successful because I adapt and I perform, and I enjoy the work I do. Good work ethic knows no race, and racism does not compensate for poor work habits. Quit blaming others for your failures. Accept some responsibility and change, or you will be a bitter loser for the rest of your miserable life.
What an asshole.
Hey facistusa,
Its Marques NOT Marquez. I’m white not hispanic. I’m from Europe, to be precise (and no, not Spain).
Oh no, I fell for your bait! I felt insulted because you assumed that I was hispanic; and because I corrected you, that makes me as big a racist as you, right?
Damn, you’re too smart for me!!!
The one that pisses me off is the photo of John Wayne, looking all, well, Joan Wayne-like, with the caption “You want me to press 1 for English?”
It’s so stupid and racist. Next time I get that one, I think I’ll deliver a similar response to all the previous forwarding parties!
Hey, Cosmo: the next time you get the John Wayne thing, send it back with an added query:
“Why? Would you rather press 2?”
Being offended is a function of one’s own personality and state of mind.
It’s one thing to feel offended because you think you’ve heard as much as you can stand about problems you don’t have, or can’t relate to.
It’s quite another to personally experience racism and/or prejudice, on the receiving end. The one that you can’t do anything about, because the people responsible have decided to hate you without having heard who you are, or what your point of view might be. For sure they’re not going to stop just because you say, “Stop.”
If you prefer to live your life by taking offense–without considering what may follow–then go right ahead. But stop bitching about something that only exists inside of you, over which you have absolute control.
Or don’t. Keep bitching. Find others who are also offended, and start a cultural movement based on you, your own hurt feelings, and the resentments of any others that you can attract. In other words, extend your own childhood. Don’t learn your culture’s lessons about what a mature person does, and don’t model these behaviors for others. Cause a ruckus. Rouse a rabble. Make a mess.
Then live with the inevitable consequences: Hate and fear in the culture you’ve created. Suspicion and mistrust of all authority figures, and most of your peers. More police, more jails, more people telling you what to do, and what not to do. More of your money going to fund state-run organizations to maintain control. And to cause more offended feelings. Hey, maybe you’ll eventually revolt and create a whole new society of hate and fear.
Just don’t bother inviting me. I’m not interested.